I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Just high enough for therapy.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
