youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
