Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
