loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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