If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
