Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
