Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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