Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
stop calling my apartment porn island.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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