Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
