she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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