You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
