Three words: puerto rican gang bang
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
