i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
