I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
