Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
