Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
