If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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