I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize