His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
there is puke in my bra ... again
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
