five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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