I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
