real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
