Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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