porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
