please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
