fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
