Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
