i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
