Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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