Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
