Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
