so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
