Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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