Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
