So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
