Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Send help, water and tortillas.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
