I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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