dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
