i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize