dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
