What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize