I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
