I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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