I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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