Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
