I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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