Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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