I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
