I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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