Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
