im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
