There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
