If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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